Some days are just more difficult than others. You feel vulnerable and exposed, with emotions racing through you. Instead of shoving them down again, you for once let them all be.
Being in touch with what is going on is not always comfortable. You look up at the blue sky and feel the sun warm your face, while you long for grey foggy autumn mornings. They would suit your mood better. People around you are laughing, all you want is to sit down and cry.
It takes truly courageous people to ride this out. The easy thing to do would be to pretend everything is fine. You plaster a smile on your face, come up with a joke and make everyone around you feel better. No one really needs to know how you truly feel inside. Sometimes you get so good at faking it that you even fool yourself.
Many of us have periods where life is not fluffy and airy. You feel rough and tough around the edges, and you wish you had a real concrete problem to show for that would make it ok to feel bad. But there is none, life itself is actually great. You, on the other hand, are not.
There doesn’t have to be something going on for you to be tired, sad and/or overwhelmed. What if there are just days or weeks that call for you to take it slow(er), retreat a bit from the world and be on your own? It doesn’t have to be a bad sign, it does not have to be a problem and it does not necessarily require a label. It just is.
No one calls the ocean depressed when it’s retreating during ebb. The wave does not have a problem after it crashed on the shore and rolls back into the sea. When you breathe out your lungs deflate, that is not a bad sign. It just is the way life is.
So if you (like me) at times don’t want to be the life of the party, but the wallflower that sits alone on the sofa with a cup of tea – just know that you are breathing out. You are resting and preparing yourself for the next intake of air, the next big wave to ride and the next adventure to embark on.
If you are having a down period – take it and embrace it. Read a book. Go for a walk. Drink tea. Sleep. Rest. It is ok to take a step back and fully recharge before you join the world again.
We will all still be here, with open arms, when you resurface.